VA Therapy
by ShadowRadger501
Summary: Got a li'l problem? Therapists too expensive? Think Rose would be your best option for help, or maybe Deirdre? Free therapy from your favorite characters, right here-or you can just read about other peoples' issues. That's always fun. Co-op with Starling.
1. Intro

Hey, it's Skylar. This is one of our interactive stories, which we know are not allowed, but they're so much fun that we really can't give them up! And really, certain types should be allowed. I guess it's a good thing they trust our judgment.

Do I need lessons on staying on topic? I'm thinking I do.

So, anyway. This is a place you can go for free therapy! Yay! Just fill out the form below and we will insert you into the story, which will be from the characters' perspectives, and treat your illness. Indirectly, of course. You'll have to read it. Satisfaction guaranteed, since obviously we control your recovery in-story. :D

Here's the form -

Name:

Age:

Gender:

Species:

Problem:

Appearance/Clothing:

Personality:

Preferred Therapist:

That's it! Just fill it out, send it as a review, and wait for your miracle treatment! :D


	2. In The Beginning

"_This _is my punishment?" I asked incredulously. "_Therapy?"_

Kirova stared me down through those horn-rimmed glasses that hung on the edge of her birdlike nose. "You complained so much about cleaning the church," she said coolly, "that when your punishment required community service, I decided to give you something different."

I glared. Sure, I'd been to therapy plenty of times – but I'd sure as _hell _never been the therapist. "And you really think I'm going to be much help with other peoples' problems? I'm going to end up throwing someone out a window!"

"Then it will teach you lessons in self-control, as well as compassion." She leaned back in her seat. "This discussion is over. You are to report to your office immediately. You know where it is."

I just looked at her.

"It's Deirdre's."

"Oh."

"The point is that you're taking some of her clients off of her hands." She pointed out the door. "Go. Most of your friends have also been given community service, and Guardian Belikov has volunteered as well so he can keep an eye on you."

I was sure he'd be doing a lot of that. Suddenly this whole therapy thing seemed a lot cooler. "Fine." I rose from my seat and breezed out the door, affecting a haughty air – like I had done nothing to deserve this. I had, of course, but playing innocent was always fun.

I crossed campus leisurely, taking time to feel the sun warming my exposed skin and smell the freshly cut grass. I'd been doing a lot of that lately: stopping to smell the roses, I guess you could say. Every little detail seemed so important now. So did every experience, which was my argument when the guardians found out I'd invaded their dorm, TPed it, and then posted the dirty little secrets I found in their rooms on flyers… Let's just say it was more than a little humiliating. You wouldn't believe what Stan keeps in his room. Now it's all on brightly colored laminated flyers I'm pretty sure they burned. Sigh…good times.

Back to the present moment. Deirdre had given us a separate wing in her office to use, and of course it was clean and bright. Our waiting room was small and cute, with powder blue walls covered in photos of puppies playing in the grass, etc., tons of huge, plush cushions in various shades of blue scattered on the clean white wood floor, and a little white desk in the back. A glittering crystal chandelier lit the whole thing up with a cheerful glow. Small glass end tables in a simple arch design held crystal cups filled with ice water. As much as I hated to admit it, I wouldn't mind working here for a while.

_Did I really just think that? I've got to be losing my mind. _Sure, the office was nice, but I was going to be stuck here helping other people with their problems. Honestly. A whole week of doing this after school.

Lissa was lounging in the back, her feet propped on the desk, idly examining her nails. She glanced up when I entered and smiled. "Hey." She swung her feet down and flicked through the stack of papers until she found the sheet she wanted. "Here's your first client. Her name's Kate Lockheart." I recognized the name. She was a dhampir girl, a junior. Kind of gothic, but pretty and a good fighter. "You want me to send her in?"

I nodded as I skimmed the form she handed me. "Can we use that room?" I pointed to the first of four white wooden doors.

"Sure." She pressed a silver button on the wall and spoke into the intercom. "Can you send Kate Lockheart in? Thanks." She glanced at me. "Go on in. I'll tell her which door."

I nodded. "Thanks."

The room was mostly the same as the waiting room. Same plush blue cushions, same powder blue walls, same glass end tables and glittering chandelier. The only difference was the black-and-white photographs of flowers framed in black wood on the walls, plus the pen and notebook laying on one of the tables, which I promptly stuffed under a cushion and ignored. This girl was not some zoo animal to be taking notes on.

Kate opened the door and gifted me with a radiant smile. "Hi."

"Hey." I gestured to a cushion and sank deeper into my own. "Let's talk." Discreetly, I checked her form and skimmed the problem. _Oh. _Okay. I looked back at her. "First of all, get your hair out of your eyes. It's bothering me." I softened the comment with a smile. She returned it and brushed the blue streak out of her eyes. "I kind of like to see the eyes of the person I'm talking too."

She laughed softly. "Yeah, I guess. So…I guess what bothers me the most is that he said we should be friends and then just ignored me. Do you think…I mean, do you know what he really meant when he said that?"

"Well, usually that's just a line to soften the blow a little. Personally," I added, "I think that if he dumped you in a text, that's just bullshit and he's a chicken. He needs to step up and say it to your face…and that usually helps you interpret things better anyway, when you have the tone of voice and body language to help you out. Anyway, I'd say he doesn't really want to be friends." I examined her, her big blue-gray eyes and delicate features. "I want you to think about a couple of things. First, I want you to take a really good look at what you see in him. Try to figure out his good qualities. Ignore the bad ones for now. Make a list of the good things, and then make a list of the bad things. Be brutally honest…judgmental if you have to. Include both good and bad memories. Compare the good to the bad, and decide if he's really worth your time and stress. If he is, then keep trying to talk to him. If not…well, if not, then just leave it at that. And if you want to come back and talk to me more about it, you can."

She nodded. "Okay. Thanks." She gave me one last smile and then left.

I sat back. Okay. I really, really hoped I did a good job with that. I didn't want to give out a bunch of bad advice.

"Liss?" I called as I exited the room. "Are you the new secretary?"

She laughed. "Apparently. I'm taking forms and calling in clients and doing paperwork." She glanced toward the third door, and something unidentifiable flashed across her face. "Christian's in there with a client now."

The emotions coming from the bond made me roll my eyes. "He's in there with a pretty girl, isn't he?"

"Maybe," she said sheepishly.

"I can watch," I offered, like I didn't really want to. Actually, I really wanted to see how Pyro handled himself with this.

She shrugged. "If you don't mind."

I tried not to grin. "Okay." I turned then to face Dimitri, who thought he'd be a smartass and sneak up on me. "Try again, Comrade. You're coming with me."

He rewarded my alertness with a mock glare. "Are you watching through the window?"

"Hell yes." I guided him to the door. "Come on, let's show off our spy skills."

I knew the window was behind Christian, so he wouldn't see us. The girl would, but I was pretty sure I could get her to stay quiet.

Dimitri and I slipped behind the office – it was ground floor level – and knelt under the window. It had gratings like all the other first-floor windows, but all we needed was hearing. Silently, I used a small laser beam – yeah, I carry a laser, got a problem with it? – to cut out a small square so we could hear. I carry that laser just for this kind of thing. No, really. I like to eavesdrop on guardian meetings.

The girl, a teenage Moroi, looked a little freaked, and I gestured wildly for her to stay quiet. I mimed eavesdropping, or tried to. I don't think I was very successful. I could feel Dimitri shaking with silent laughter against my back.

She did stay quiet, and her momentary freak-out passed by Christian's notice. Some therapist he was.

"So, you're bored all the time?" Christian asked, looking a little bored himself. "Okay, then…" Suddenly his eyes lit up with a glow I didn't like. "Hey, I've got something for you to do. I mean, most therapists would tell you to join a sports team or plan stuff to do with your friends, right? Not me. We're going to start a war between the guardians and the students."

Oh no…

_Skylar here. Yes, I am perfectly aware that the war thing has been done before. Remember, this also functions as a story, so we require a plot, or at least something of one. Anyway, we can do some really creative things with the war thing. Just because the concept of a war has been done doesn't mean OUR version has…because it sure as hell hasn't! Kate, I apologize if you're actually a senior. I just went with your age. So this is really going to be a story – just with self-insert characters. Those who sent in forms may have to look between the lines a little to get your actual advice. For example, Maria, when Christian says, "Most therapists would tell you to join a sports team or plan stuff to do with your friends," that's what I'M telling you to do. 'Kay? Peace out then, суки. (That would be Russian for bitches.)_


End file.
